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in Several Hard Steps Let me say right off the bat - I am far from achieving simplicity to the degree that I would like. I still struggle with wants, I have by no means gone very far on this journey...yet. Some days I think maybe I've taken another step, some days I don't actually progress, but I have, to date, generally avoided backsliding. However, compared to the person I was slightly over a year ago, and the lifestyle we lived at that time, the changes have been incredible. Where I Was Last year, in Rangy Lil's - A Sideways Glance, I had written a few articles which show where I was coming from, and I have linked to those articles rather than going through all that again. To say that I had lost touch with the things that really matter would be an understatement. I was stressed-out, burned out, crying all the time and very, very unhappy. In November of 1996, I gave notice at my workplace, and before I was finished, my father passed away. I went through a period of depression and introspection. This part of the story begins in January of 1997, when we began living on one income after many years of just barely making it on two. The First Steps The first days of not working involved some therapeutic indulgence...I relaxed and licked the wounds on my soul. After wallowing for a week or so, I dove into a frenzy of activity; it kept my mind occupied so as not to dwell on the swirling sadness I still felt over the loss of my father. And the sense of achievement and accomplishment which followed was almost overwhelming, as I conquered basic power tools and a general lack of knowledge. Bumpy and lumpy as it was, by gosh I drywalled the kitchen myself! And built a pantry, some shelving for the kids, painted and wallpapered the entranceway, and more. It was satisfying to work with my hands and my body for a change, a pleasant break for my mind. It wasn't long before I realized that I was truly enjoying staying home, and I dragged my heels on looking for work. I became entranced with the idea of finding work I could do from home, and began to seek out ways to cut costs in order to extend this "holiday" while I found some way of combining work with pleasure. Seized with the idea of living frugally, I wrote an electronic book about saving money and cutting costs, and dreamed that I could make a living selling it and others yet unwritten. So far this has only been a dream, but the research I did along the way began to make an impact on me. I started to question the unthinking consumerism I had always indulged in, the general acceptance that "getting more stuff" was a measure of one's success. Spending money and gathering stuff became less and less attractive, and I found that I no longer needed to satisfy my soul through various excesses. Doing things around the home, especially learning to cook frugally but in a more nutritious and creative manner, became a source of satisfaction and pride, and gave me a sense of fulfillment that I had long been searching for. It may seem a small thing to some people, but when I first learned to make certain things from scratch (like soup, and a white sauce), it was a breakthrough to me. I stopped buying prepackaged foods almost entirely and learned how to do it myself, or do without. Our meals became more varied, more interesting, more nutritious, more satisfying and less expensive! I became quite miserly with money at the grocery store, at all stores for that matter. The way that I look at it is: what began with frugality out of necessity has become living simply, by choice. Where I'm Going That should actually read "where WE'RE going" because of course none of this would be possible without my husband's solid support and love - and weekly paycheque. I know that he worries about his role as the sole breadwinner, and he is not entirely comfortable bearing the entire responsibility for actually keeping us afloat. I try to make his homelife as comfortable as possible - it's my job now. Another part of my "job" is finding every possible way to reduce expenses, and this has become easier as I find myself always considering needs vs. wants. Wanting less and being content with simply satisfying your needs is the most frugal lifestyle of all. I don't feel as if I am depriving myself or my family in any way, rather I think that we are living a far richer lifestyle than ever before. If we were truly on the edge of disaster - bankruptcy, losing the house, being unable to feed ourselves - I would not stop pounding the pavement till I had a job, any job, whatever it took to keep my children clothed and fed and housed. But I think we'll make it through okay. We've already made great strides in reducing our expenses but I think that there are still areas for improvement, and we're working on that. Next step will be paying down our debt, which in turn will give us more money each month to put into our savings. My dream is to eventually be at a level where working only part-time is a possibility. This sounds monumental, and it is, but I truly think that we can do it. At that point, I would gladly be the one to be working, and let my husband take over the household, if he wants to. Right now, he makes more than I ever could, but eventually we won't be as dependent on that income, not if I have my way! I've been dreaming about moving to a small acreage farm, that would lessen our dependency on outside income a lot. But that is a dream for the future . . . |